I need to stop coming to work sober
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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