Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
