using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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