she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
