Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
