he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Soap is not a condiment
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
