At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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