are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
