So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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