ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
