forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
