the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.