I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
