Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
