Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
