Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
