my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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