Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
