he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
did i just pee glitter
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
