I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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