I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
