erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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