She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
