my vag is so smooth its legendary
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
