we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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