Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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