The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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