If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
