i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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