I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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