Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I need to align my fucking chakras
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
