I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
