just tell him i said nine months
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i've created a new STD.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
