Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
