so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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