Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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