Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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