So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
