She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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