I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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