She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
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He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
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Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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