I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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