so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
