Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
