It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
