New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
