i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
