i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
nutella sex= disaster
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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