dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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