My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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