haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
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i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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