At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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