I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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