Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
