go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
