You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
