Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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