That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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