I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
