I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
