party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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