Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
