that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
that may or may not have been my penis.
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