So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
