I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
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