You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the day after is always just damage control
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
