if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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